I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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