SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
