Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
