Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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