Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
