Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
