textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
