is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i believe in u and ur pee
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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