i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
