Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
