is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
