There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
