shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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