We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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