If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
