I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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