You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
