I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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