You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
