I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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