Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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