Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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