i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
