Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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