So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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