i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
