Me too!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
