I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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