If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
