erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
