Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
