We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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