Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
