youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think I sprained my soul last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
