My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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