so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
