I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
