you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
