i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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