He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
