I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
