I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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