If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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