Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
