i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
