I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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