thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
