I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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