normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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