That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
