I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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