dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
